I sometimes find it hard to acknowledge a friend's weaknesses to myself because I feel like I'm somehow betraying my friend by allowing myself to entertain negative thoughts about him/her.
I think it stems from my "fear" that if a friend notices a weakness of mine, I might be criticized about it behind my back and that person will think less of me.
Over the past year, I think I have finally learned that nothing is wrong with acknowledging a weakness of a good friend because that doesn't mean that you think less of him/her.
In fact, that is a good sign of your friendship because you embrace that person for who he/she really is, instead of just embracing the positive traits and trying to ignore the weaknesses. It strenghtens your bond because you are still fond of them, in spite of their faults. It means you love them, flaws and all.
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It's a lot similar with my past refusal to acknowledge my "doubts", when I give someone or something the benefit of the doubt.
I used to think that entertaining those doubts means that you're already casting your judgment, when actually that is why the word 'doubt' was in the phrase in the first place. You are giving the benefit of the doubt because there was something that made you doubt what you have perceived.
I guess this was also because I wanted people to give me the benefit of the doubt in less than ideal situations. I'm still learning to finetune my BS detector because of this.
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I think these tendencies of mine are based on that golden rule. They are based on good intentions but I guess I just took it a little too far.
I'm still learning a thing or two about moderation in some aspects of how I think and there should be a balance.
Yeah, this just occurred to me today... maybe it's my little nugget of wisdom that I have acquired before I turn 25... =)
[Yes, this realization of mine might seem obvious to you, but it took me a long time to be "enlightened", hehehe]
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